In awakening the path I experienced was paved with these stepping stones:
- realising the limits of the five sense reality
- mindfulness/being in the now
- love (compassion, forgiveness, compassion, courage, trust, acceptance), loving others as myself, loving myself as all.
- surrender
After awakening I know who I really am but a choice I face in every moment is to chose between the ego's "created self" and the "one self" that is everything (and nothing). Its a constant choice in which perspective to operate from and indeed reminding myself that I have that choice. Each moment presents me with opportunities to let go, to surrender - to allow everything to be what it is. "it is what it is" is an affirmation that applies to people, things and events. I forgot this today and suffered for it but listening to Adyashanti's talk on surrender (parts 1-10) on Youtube (starts with
http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&feature=endscreen&v=JCQcYTWi9DY ) gave me the nourishment I needed to realise this choice I now face in each moment - to surrender or to not surrender and therefore chose to suffer. Adya says this is a stage and eventually there is a going beyond this choice as the choice no longer needs to be made because there is complete surrender.
Studying kabbalah made me acutely and painfully aware of my ego and how it operates to fulfill its needs. Neuroscience showed me the power of the mind and made me acutely aware of how I create my own reality through what I give attention to. Awakening has made me more acutely aware of how my conditioned self operates and causes me unnecessary suffering. These things were always there but I am conscious of them now, I observe them.
I am discovering how much I prefer experience as a learning tool although I find much nourishment and signposts in what others say and write. I friend told me about the Buddhist concept of "pointing at the moon":
"All instruction is but a finger pointing to the moon; and those whose gaze is fixed upon the pointer will never see beyond. Even let him catch sight of the moon, and still he cannot see its beauty." http://evelynrodriguez.typepad.com/pointingtothemoon/
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