Thursday, December 27, 2012
Finally a plain English introduction to the world of yogic meditation and relaxation : A simple Nuts and Bolts Guide to Meditation and Relaxation
This booklet outlines the basics, drawn from across a number traditions. It doesn't try to say that this is the only right way as some dogmatic tomes do, rather it recommends an experiential try it and judge for yourself approach.
Arwen Jayne is an author of fantasy/sci fi stories with a mix of the erotic and the spiritual, drawing again on a number of traditions. Her non-traditionalist style is reflected in this non-fiction guide to meditation. The meditations are all simple and easy to do. Background information explaining yogic anatomy and terms that might be needed to help the practitioner further their interest are provided.
The booklet is well suited for those who want to know how to do meditation without the usual overload of religious doctrine. The spiritual side is still there but it is presented as a way of using meditation. Its your choice whether you use the meditations to simply relax and find inner peace or to start a spiritual journey to uncovering the oneness that is always present within us all.
Monday, December 24, 2012
Monday, November 12, 2012
I took a moment to be aware of the straining. Not to try to diminish it or change it or even control it. Simply to trust that within that experience was a point of stillness. I surrendered to awareness of that, then the silence, then the emptiness.
A blue light birthed within my mind's eye, as it often does when I do work on the third eye but this was not the intense electric blue swirling vortex I've usually seen. Rather it was a soft, vast blue, an ocean of sorts. With that ocean there was suddenly a white light, tinged with green and yellow. It appeared to take shape, forming petals of an unfolding flower, a luminous waterlily. I didn't analyse it so I can't say how many petals it had but the vision was breath-taking. I wanted to photograph or paint it. In the meantime, it seemed important so I'm blogging it and maybe later I can refer back to this when I am able to understand its symbology.
Interestingly, I had a cup of herbal tea after and reread a chapter of Healing with Form, Energy and Light by Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche. On page 9 of the paperback version he gives the colours of the five lights, according to the Bon tradition. White for space, Yellow for earth, Green for air, Red for fire and Blue for water. Quite different from the usual colour correspondence but when I applied it to my vision it resonated for me with perhaps the blue being a primordial ocean, the white of the waterlily being an unfolding awareness of the element of space, tinged with groundedness and knowledge that it springs from. The only thing that was missing perhaps was red which represents bliss in the Bon tradition. I imagine that if that had been in the vision it might have been like flames dancing on the tops of the petals.
I'm starting to feel better now, picking up as the day goes on but I think I'll semi-fast for the rest of the day, to clear the system.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
I asked myself "What is space?" We don't think about it much. Usually our brain focuses on form, noise and motion. If you look at the famous Rubin's vase the brain will usually focus first on the vase before it notices the outline of the faces.
Space surrounds everything. It doesn't judge us. It can't be harmed, shaped or molded to our will. Its inside us, within the spaces between our atomic particles, between our cells and inside our body cavities. Its outside us and connects with everything in the known universe from the room or place we are sitting now to the outer known reaches of the universe. Its essence is spaciousness, silence and stillness. It forms the ground for all things, motion and sound.
I found that just switching my awareness to the spaces between things was quite calming so I looked at how I might incorporate the awareness into my meditation practice I chose to do this by working with the senses and with my thoughts. Taking internal images I visualized them being surrounded by space. I did this with sounds and smell as well. For touch I just visualized the space surrounding and touching my skin. For me this was all powerfully awareness shifting. I've always known there were five elements in the old healing and magical systems but had never really given much thought to space.
Still frustrated about not finding what I was looking for on the web I resorted to my own library, burrowing through some books I had by Tibetan authors and found a short section in the back of Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche's "Healing with Form, Energy and Light". This was short but refreshingly simple so I started looking for what more he might have done on the subject. A YouTube search on his name uncovered an eight part introductory lecture called the Fivefold Teachings of Dawa Gyaltsen. Again these were easy to understand and I put them into practice right away, finding the spaciousness of mind he was talking about. It seemed to me something worth pursuing further, that if mastered it was a switch I could use quickly and easily anytime I needed without needed a long involved meditation. Just five short minutes seemed to give profound results. I went looking for more and found “Awakening the Luminous Mind: Tibetan meditation for inner peace and joy”. Its cliche to say this but this was so clear and simple I really wished someone had given it to me at birth. Life would have been so much easier. Yet despite its simplicity you don't want to rush through it. There is much in here to consider and reflect on. Concepts like the pain body, pain speech and the pain mind and how we can use spaciousness to change our relationship to them. The three things humans do when faced with a problem is denial/avoidance, resisting/trying to change it or simply allowing it. We all know the first gets us nowhere, we keep getting the same problem presented to us. Trying to change the problem saps our energy and resources (I think it was either Bob Frissell or Leonard Orr who said resistance leads to persistence). Finally we can simply choose to see the problem and say "it is what it is", allow it, then shift our awareness to the space around it. Its that shift of awareness that can change our perspective on the problem, even to the extent that with some things we suddenly see "it" wasn't the problem but instead our own image of it and reaction to it that was giving us grief. In this way we travel the path towards integration and oneness.
I particularly like the way Tenzin has given us these teachings in clear, plain English without all the usual dogma that would normally obscure it. You're not required to join a religion to practice it or spend several years learning something else before you can start using it. Like the Kabbalah the teachings of Dzogchen now seem to be being revealed to the general mass of the population, no longer hidden in secrecy and coded language.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
The world is a mirror, a reflection if you will, of the collective mind. If you want to change the world you need to change that mind. We are all cells of that interconnected mind. Change our own thoughts and they have the potential to spread through the network of the mind like contagion.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
There is a temptation to think that things, people and events are the way they are due to simple causes such as a bad upbringing, politicians succumbing to the gravy train, pollution causing global climate change. Reality is often more complex than that. Bob Frissell in his book "Nothing in this book is true but that's exactly how things are" puts his finger on it when he says that we don't look far enough back in the causes of things. We tend to blame the latest obvious causes in a long string of causes and effects. If a child is bullied we are tempted to look to the bullies as the cause but not what made them bullies. If we do follow the chain of causes as far back as we can go then we probably get all the way back to the first humans or maybe the ancestors of us and the chimps. So who is to blame for the deficiencies in our world? No-one or everyone?
Our power rests not in attempting to change others but in finding how we ourselves exhibit or influence the very thing we criticize, taking responsibility for ourselves and our actions, accepting what we are and changing what we can. We can be the very break in the chain of cause and effect that we are seeking. Like it or not what we will choose to change is what will give us the biggest pay back for effort. When we see ourselves as part of a greater connected whole then the usual benefit to self gets broadened out to our extended self, the pleasure and happiness of another is our pleasure and happiness.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
I've listened to Adyashanti and Eckhart Tolle on Youtube. I've tried to get my head around the different Shiva Hindu sects as well as Advaita (non-dualist Hindu traditions), the gnosticism of Tau Malachi and of course Kaballah. Conspiracy writers like David Icke and Bob Frissell also have much of worth on the topic. I've tried to compare what they say back to my own experiences derived through meditation, moment in time insights and one experiment with a legal plant substance.
For me, my own experience was a loss of the conditioned self and a loss of boundary between the rest of creation. It was a realization that I am the limiting factor, the blockage so to speak, creating my experience of existence as a singular entity when the other reality is - vast! It was a realization that I normally experience a world limited by my five senses, my conditioned ego self and co-created by the other parts of myself (other people, animals, plants and the planet) who are just as constrained by their own senses and conditioning, by fear, anger and self doubt.
The different religious views seem to describe oneness in one of three ways:
- Loss of boundary/ Loss of distinction between subject and object.
- Merger with the all pervading consciousness (dissolving back into the source consciousness) - the idea is that our individuality was only every an illusion necessary for the divine to experience the world of matter.
- Union (as in intimate closeness) with the all pervading consciousness (this is the path followed by those who want to evolve to be like the source or cling to it like a devoted lover
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
On one level this simple, lighthearted and fast paced, very Australian, paranormal erotic romance is a little bit naughty and quite a bit kinky. Underlying all that is a deeper message about love that is all accepting, transcends taboos and arbitrary values and connects us with the all pervading consciousness of the universe.
The heroine Tyra is a soon to be retired librarian. She is woken in the middle of the night to find her uncle has died and a destiny she didn't know she had calls her to a small Australian country town. To fulfill her destiny she must find her own liberation and make a bond of love that exceeds normal human limits. Tyra must let go of obstacles she has placed in the path of love and let go of boundaries of self and mortality. And of course there's an ancient evil out to stop her.
There is some gay sex and bondage as well as left-hand tantra which may be confronting to some readers but no doubt this was part of the author's intention to challenge taboos and arbitrary social values.
A paperback version is expected out in October 2012 and will also be available on Amazon. A sequel is expected out in 2013.
Monday, July 2, 2012
I hazard to say that the practice of yoga and meditation are not religion but rather experiential. As such the experiences of people around the world who undertake this type of exercise, by whatever name they choose to give it, are manifestly similar. For instance mediation on the lower chakras generates a kind of warmth at the base of the spine. It also stimulate the sex hormones. Yoga practitioners seek to raise this energy up the spine to activate the energy centers above. If you have blockages immediately above this chakra then you can easily get bogged down in hedonistic stuff and make no further progress. I think a better approach might be to start with heart chakra mediation then work progressively outwards, over some weeks, with the chakras either side. In this way the complementary nature of say the solar plexus and throat chakra and then the hara and third eye keep you balanced. Finally include work on the outer root and crown chakras, connect and balancing them. I got my inspiration for this polarity approach from Esoteric Anatomy by Bruce Burger. Once you are sure you have adequately worked with and balanced all your chakras then you can do a bottom from the top meditation without fear of getting stuck at any points along the way. The ultimate aim being to connect Shiva with Shakti. I sometimes use an electronic guitar tuner to help me sound the right note for each chakra.
I make no claims for the following table being definitive. It is purely what I've worked out for myself through insights and what I've experienced, tried and read. I've tried to take the jargon out of it. A lot of people get the location of the heart chakra wrong, thinking it to be lower down on the sternum but being a shiatsu therapist I go for where the indent is on the sternum. Also I believe that the location of the root chakra is slightly different for men and women but I'll leave it for someone braver than me to explain that - look it up on Google! For more information, but full of jargon, try the explanation on Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chakra.
Finally: the number values I give relate to sacred geometry, not the number of petals on each chakra as stated in the Hindu tradition.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
I've thought much about this in the few days since and I've realised ANYTHING can be used as a meditation. Travelling home on the bus tonight I made the effort to notice the smell inside the bus (no not bad - just bus-y), to listen to kids playing on the floor (trying to neither like or dislike their noise but just to notice it), to feel the motion of the bus as it went around corners, to consider the texture and fabric of the seats and the metal trim - who made them and how? Strangely the whole trip seemed very short.
I'm like a child again, rediscovering the world, the wonder and delight of it.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
- realising the limits of the five sense reality
- mindfulness/being in the now
- love (compassion, forgiveness, compassion, courage, trust, acceptance), loving others as myself, loving myself as all.
Studying kabbalah made me acutely and painfully aware of my ego and how it operates to fulfill its needs. Neuroscience showed me the power of the mind and made me acutely aware of how I create my own reality through what I give attention to. Awakening has made me more acutely aware of how my conditioned self operates and causes me unnecessary suffering. These things were always there but I am conscious of them now, I observe them.
I am discovering how much I prefer experience as a learning tool although I find much nourishment and signposts in what others say and write. I friend told me about the Buddhist concept of "pointing at the moon":
"All instruction is but a finger pointing to the moon; and those whose gaze is fixed upon the pointer will never see beyond. Even let him catch sight of the moon, and still he cannot see its beauty." http://evelynrodriguez.typepad.com/pointingtothemoon/
Sunday, April 15, 2012
When we're at the bottom we have to get past the materialist-rationalist model that we are taught - aka this is the world as it is - a solid reality that we are born into as sentient mammals, we live, we die - that's it folks! - Make the most of it while you're here!
Getting past the five sense reality barrier
A number of reflections or experiences will get you past this:
- near death experiences
- paranormal experiences
- experiencing the power of the mind to heal or create our own reality
- or simply a thought - hey! what if what I perceive is like a PC which is limited by what is inputted from the keyboard, webcam, microphone etc. Maybe what I experience is only a fraction of what there is.
The two traps interact and overlap.
- Don't seek it, do it ... don't waste a lifetime following what others tell about how to awaken (including this blog post), at best these can only be hints, direct experience is the only way. Our default state is awake to our oneness - to wake up let go of your identifications.
- Understand what leading edge quantum theorists and other thinkers are saying: we are all one and start living your life on the premise that that is true.
- Live in the present moment, practicing mindfulness in everything. One pointed meditation and brainwave entrainment may help but should be seen as optional tools, many other ways are possible.
- Be willing to let go of all your identifications: the reflection in the mirror, your body and its state, your past story of upbringing and life experiences, your goals and desires (as something that exist in the future)...
I'm still using brainwave entrainment with my meditation. Now experimenting with Lambda, Gamma and Epsilon brainwaves. The Epsilon so far seems to be very grounding. The Lambda gives a sensation of healing and wholeness.
I've been having some amazingly detailed early morning dreams which I don't seem to have any difficulty remembering. I've had the experience of asking questions of characters in my dreams that I've got answers to - usually driving me to a bit of googling the next day. For example, two travellers who rescued me from some pursuers and healed me told me, when asked, that they were sifu. I googled that one expecting that it would be somehow related to a nomadic tribe or some sufi term but it turned out to be a Cantonese word meaning master (as in an apprentice's master).
Saturday, April 7, 2012
The next day though I felt deeply restless and in need of reassurance about what I had experienced. I got on the web looking searching for information about nirvana but that didn't do it for me I think because so many writers equate nirvana with a bliss state and that wasn't it for me - it was more a falling away of the conditioned self revealing what is always there underneath all that, although some say the Buddha called it "cessation" which seems to me more applicable. Tried searching on "Samadhi"and yes there did seem to be some levels of this that described it and what I was feeling afterward. Then I came across writers like Andreas Mamet, Adyashanti and Nirmala who seemed to be describing it - something called a Non-dual tradition.
Andreas Mamet says in Sutras for Contemporary Times that there are awakenings that come from one pointed meditation on four of the chakras: the hara or second chakra, the heart chakra, the third eye and the crown or top of the head. They apparently differ in quality, third eye awakenings presenting in a "clear and luminous" way. My intuition says to work my meditation next with my hara for stability and balance. Especially as it took me nearly a week after my awakening to stop feeling like a bit of flotsom slopping around on an unsettled sea. Mamet says that "when consciousness really happens it comes at you with the subtlety of a nuclear explosion" and that "the event leaves one reeling and dealing with this explosion and the need of connecting it with the continuing ordinariness of life, which does not stop". I can really resonate with this. I am very glad that it hit me just before a five day break but even then its taken all of 9 days to get a little steadiness back.
I think to be honest that one could achieve this state without mediation - an "aha' moment where the veils of conditioned reality fell off. Possibly also through a near-death experience. But I can only relay my own experience of how it happened for me. I certainly don't see it as an end in itself, more of a beginning and I intend to keep meditating and learning from it. Certainly there are no initial outward changes in my ordinary everyday conditioned self/persona - may be there won't be, may be there will - does it really even matter to me now. One thing I've noticed as a consequence though is I feel a whole lot less fear of death and loss. The contradictions on this planet I now see as "they are what they are", there is not a sense of being in opposition to those contradiction. I'm going to have to weed a lot of the books in my library that I now see as a lot of twaddle.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
- Relaxation - Breathing, letting go muscle tension, forgiving and letting go any baggage or future fears and slowly bringing the wandering mind to the focus point of the meditation
- Focus - focusing on the third eye and becoming aware of colours played on the screen behind the closed eye lids and awareness of sensations which a friend tells me are called "Nyam" in Tibetan Buddhism. Then letting go of my attachment to these things, releasing all expectations and assumptions about the meditation session and going into next stage
- Spaciousness - one of the best descriptions of this I found on a page put out by Krishnamurti Australia http://www.krishnamurtiaustralia.org/articles/meditation%201.htm "The meditative mind has no horizon... Meditation is opening the door into spaciousness which cannot be imagined or speculated upon... Silence and spaciousness go together. The immensity of silence is the immensity of the mind in which a center does not exist. The perception of this space and silence is not of thought."
Russell Targ in Limitless Mind pulls ideas from Dzogchen to explain the distinction between conditioned experience and naked awareness as it relates to the experience of remote viewing. Naked awareness arises when you let go of analysis, memory and imagination (the analytic overlay) and simply experience, naked of conditioning or expectations. I think this has direct application to mediating where the need is to:
- let go of the past and future and be mindful in the now (this includes forgiving the past and letting go of fears for the future in preparation for meditation).
- let go of what we are told to expect in meditation, including this blog post
- let go of our memory of previous meditations that might give us expectations in the present
- witness the experience rather than analyse it
- quiet the imagination. If shapes or colours appear on the screen behind the eyes I don't analyse or try to interpret them or try to imagine greater detail in them. Just observe, let it be and let it pass.
- a tingling over the third eye
- a tingling over the crown chakra
- skin crawling sensations in the scalp
- a lightness around the eyes
- a lightness in the head - not as in light-headedness - more like a cool, relaxed lightness.
- heat in the body, particularly the hands
- and a headache centred on the third eye, which I only go once and I think this came from getting stuck in the focus stage of the mediation, that is not releasing.
Saturday, March 17, 2012
In a mixing bowl put
1 cup sweet sorghum flour
a table spoon of chia seeds
a table spoon of psyllium seeds
rub in about two tablespoons of coconut oil into the mixture
Add just enough water (usually only a tablespoon or so) to get a mixture you can knead in your hands. The mixture must be firm.
Shape into scone size amounts and put on a tray, greased with coconut oil and set aside for 5 minutes to allow the chia and psyllium to swell - this creates a semi-raised texture. They still won't rise as much as true scones but they are yummy and for non sugar eaters like me the sweet sorghum flour makes them taste quite sweet.
cook for 20 minutes
makes about 5-6 smallish "scones".
Blueberries or other flavourings can be added to the mixture to vary.
I'm currently enjoying an older out of print book called "Breakthrough Greek" to develop my understanding of modern Greek a bit further. The beauty of their approach is using short dialogues with explanations on the facing page. I first read the dialogue through without reference to the vocabulary or explanations and see what my brain can work out based on what it already knows or can guess. Then I read the vocab and explanations and reread the dialogue and practise saying it out load. I've already learnt the alphabet but if I was learning that too I would write the passage out. I then visualize having the conversation with another person. I mentally substitute some of the words with others I know. If the dialog covers stuff that's very new to me I leave it for a day or so then come back to it - this gives my brain time to have rewired. When I do meet a helpful native speaker I try some of it out.
Once I'm "in" and my focus locks on then so far there seems to be a couple of distinct stages. The first stage is experiencing the colours and lights on the screen behind the eyes. This is heightened by wearing a light proof mask and using a darkened room. I got a mask off ebay that has built in therapeutic magnets for the acupressure points and this seems to help greatly. What I experienced last night during this phase was a world of light and an awareness of my body as light. I experimented with how different thoughts and feelings and attitudes affected this light. I can't quite find the words to describe it yet. The second phase I've experienced when I do a long mediation, about 40 minutes in the screen show stops and there is a sense that there is only consciousness and there is a sense of being everywhere and nowhere. Struggling to express it - it seems to be a loss of the sense of locality.
I'm still sometimes using Brainwave Tuner app on my android tablet, which I updated last week from the lite to the full version. The best one for me has been the sleeep induction which use to take me to the edge of sleep but I don't let myself go to sleep. From my reading about brainwaves this would seem to be the best way to get into the delta waves of lucid dreaming or insights.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
If we woke up tomorrow and we were all of one mind what would it mean?
If we could heal anyone by simply loving ourself and them as part of ourself?
If we could pull any idea we were interested in from the unified field of consciousness?
If we didn't need to protect ourself from ourself?
If we could travel anywhere in space and time with simply the thought?
If we didn't need even half of what we now need, let alone desire...?
If positive thinking is about visualizing an outcome and then giving thanks for it as if it already exists in our lives then maybe this is something worth pondering.
- lying down
- listening to the "self-hypnosis" setting on the "Brain tuner lite" program
- starting out with a few minutes of alternate nose breathing (to balance both sides of the brain apparantly)
- then when my arms start to ache from that I just put my arms down at my sides or do the hand position (mudra) the Jill Ammon-Wexler recommends. Relaxed I close my eyes and breathe in through my nose, focusing my breath up to the third eye and then releasing the breath out through my mouth. I do this for a little bit until I'm suitably focused on the third eye and deeply relaxed.
- then my own innovation is to send loving thoughts to my third eye and just rest my awareness there seeing what I see on the screen behind my closed eyes.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
As usual, I have been reading a number of books in tandem:
- Power Up Your Brain by David Perlmutter and Alberto Villoldo
- The Source field investigations by David Wilcock
- The Fourth Awakening by Rod Pennington and Jeffery A Martin
I started reading The Source Field Investigations back in December and I'm still picking at it. To be honest I haven't found it an easy read but it does contain some ideas worthy of further exploration. The structure of the book is essentially a compilation of little known science, quite a bit of it by russian scientists. It has a chapter on the pineal gland. Frankly I don't see the author's comparison of the shape of the pineal gland with a pine cone. I certainly would have been more interested in knowing what the Egyptian hieroglyphs beneath the Vatican's giant pinecone statue said. It did however get me thinking about that gland as a possible of gateway for communicating with the source field, a hypothetical field of "something", possibly energy, possibly vibration, possibly a universal consciousness that surrounds and emeshes everything in the known universe.
"The Fouth Awakening" is a novel in which the hero is a Timothy Leary style multimillionaire who believes in the power of positive thinking and who tries to get his ideas across to a female sometimes journalist who has regrets about giving up her high flying career for a marriage (that resulted in divorce) and children who are now leading lives of their own. The fourth awakening is the concept that we are about to take an evolutionary leap as a species, from symbolic communication to non-symbolic communication. Further information on the ideas contained in the book can be found in a non-fiction book written by one of the authors, Jeffery A Martin, called the God formula. In the novel they are trying to speed up the supposed evolutionary event by stimulating certain portions of the brain.
I greatly enjoyed reading "Power up your brain" which was well written with clear general reader level explanations of how the brain works. The intent of the book is an integration of David Perlmutter's work in the field of neuroscience with Alberto Villoldo's shamanic healing methods. The book outlines a number of practical exercises and a nutritional regime aimed at stimulating brain healing and connection with a greater reality.
One of the exercises in "Power up your brain" is the "Invocation to Create Sacred Space"
Alberto has used this invocation, with variations, in a number of his works. In form this is a fairly standard ritual used to define a circular area, to create sacred space, by honouring six directions: east, west, north, south, above and below. I like to also honour my heart center as the seventh direction. I am not providing the detail of the ritual here, surfice to say Alberto starts his ritual in the South, honouring the great serpent, then proceeds to the West to the Mother Jaguar, North to the ancient ones and ancestors who have gone before us and then to the East, the great eagle that sours above the high mountain peaks. The next stage of the ritual asks for healing of the mother earth and honours the Great spirit above.
It occurred to me, while practising this ritual that
- the Sepent of the South equated with our reptilian brain, our automated habital responses, the beat of our heart, our breath, all the things that we rely on the cerebellum to do.
- the Mother Jaguar represents our animal brain (the limbic system) that powers our emotions, our desires and at its most basic: feeding fighting, fleeing and sex. This is the part of us that can feel stressed and drives us to protect ourselves and pursue pleasure.
- the Ancient Ones of the North equate with our Neo Cortex, our ability to reason, reflect and to express ourselves in words and symbols.
- The Eagle of the East equates with an ability to sour above mountains we have only started to dream of.
My intuitive guess is that the layer of brain that will empower the eagle aspect of ourselves is one that we are yet to evolve or yet to activate. Could the pineal gland, once active in us, be like a plug connection into a universal "cloud computing" level of consciousness that exists only in the spiritual realm?
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
- everything we do is for self benefit! (even giving to charity makes you feel better about your self)
- up until recently most of us have been caught up in the illusion that we are alone in the shells of our skins, egos, unique and trying to control everything in our perceived environment (to our own advantage)
- recently a lot of us have been starting to wake up (whether through kabbalah, brain science, the human potential movement, the fourth awakening or plant teachers...) to the fact that consciousness is not in our brains nor is it confined within our mortal bodies.
Now the really neat bit is that I don't have to give up doing everything for self benefit (you can't any way as its just plain human nature) - I just have to realise that my "self" is everything and do "everything" for self. This is the true meaning of "love everyone as your self" (including your friends and enemies, beings of stone, beings of plant, beings of four, six and eight legs etc) for everyone is you. This is the origin of Mayan saying "you are another me".
So shed your artifically constructed boundaries: give way to the yourself in the queue of the supermarket as you have as much right to get out quickly as you do... if you catch my drift.
They say that all this is something that you can't explain ... you can only understand when you experience it for your self. So experiment: use visualisation, affirmations, act as if this model of consciousness is real (whatever works for you) and see what you think about it.
At the moment I practise daily visualising love and acceptance for my body contained self and then I extend that visualisation out in onion layers to include family, then neighbourhood, then work and so on until I visualise the whole planet and everything on it and then out to the galaxy and the universe. All the time ayaing "I love you, I accept you as you are", all the time knowing that I mean just one extended entity. Its also easy to extend this across time and space (to everything past, present and future in all dimensions and all universes).